Amateur Film Criticism and History

The Island (July 22, 2005)

2012-02-14T08:10:00.000-08:00

Do you still think there is an island?

**1/2 of ****

I finally finished this film after an month, I watched most of it at work so there was a delay. As for the film, it is a typical Michael Bay affair with plenty of action and explosions and little character/plot development. But, it is an interesting science fiction action piece which I can definitely recommend.

Steve Buscemi as James McCord, employee of Merrick Biotech.

Shawnee Smith of Saw fame as the girlfriend of James McCord.

Sean Bean.

Chris Ellis as the Aces-And-Spades Bartender.

Djimon Hounsou as Albert Laurent.

The Rocketeer (June 21, 1991)

2012-02-14T07:31:00.000-08:00

*** of ****

Coneheads (July 23, 1993)

2012-02-14T07:26:00.000-08:00

**1/2 of ****

Flight of the Navigator (July 30, 1986)

2012-02-12T20:15:00.000-08:00

** of ****

The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes (December 31, 1969)

2012-02-12T19:12:00.000-08:00

** of ****

Soldier (October 23, 1998)

2012-02-12T19:04:00.000-08:00

**1/2 of ****

"I'm going to kill them, Sir. All of them."

Starman (December 14, 1984)

2012-02-12T19:01:00.001-08:00

**1/2 of ****

Battle: Los Angeles (March 11, 2011)

2012-02-12T18:58:00.001-08:00

** of ****

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (December 20, 1978)

2012-02-12T11:50:00.000-08:00

**1/2 of ****

Peggy Sue Got Married (October 10, 1986)

2012-02-12T11:47:00.000-08:00

** of ****

Overboard (December 16, 1987)

2012-02-12T11:40:00.000-08:00

** of ****

Howard the Duck (August 1, 1986)

2012-02-12T09:25:00.000-08:00

Turkey of ****

This film gives new meaning to the phrase, "Fuck a duck!"

Ghosts of Mars (August 24, 2001)

2012-02-12T09:23:00.000-08:00

Natasha Henstridge

* of ****

Probably one of the worst films created. It is so bad, it is almost good. Definitely a classic "B" movie.

Ice Cube

Jason Stratham

Pam Grier

Stargate (October 28, 1994)

2012-02-12T09:13:00.000-08:00

** of ****

"Give my regards to King Tut, asshole!"

Enemy Mine (December 20, 1985)

2012-02-10T09:48:00.001-08:00

** of ****

District 9 (August 14, 2009)

2012-02-09T11:46:00.000-08:00

*** of ****

The Thing (October 14, 2011)

2012-02-08T11:52:00.000-08:00

*1/2 of ****

This movie is frankly unnecessary and if I were to watch it before the 1982 version, it would leave a tarnish upon the screening experience.

The Thing (June 25, 1982)

2012-02-07T07:01:00.000-08:00

***1/2 of ****

Escape from L.A. (August 9, 1996)

2012-02-07T06:56:00.000-08:00

** of ****

Escape from New York (July 10, 1981)

2012-02-07T06:52:00.000-08:00

*** of ****

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (February 5, 1956)

2012-02-07T06:47:00.000-08:00

** of ****

The War of the Worlds (August 26, 1953)

2012-02-07T06:44:00.000-08:00

** of ****

Critters 2: The Main Course (April 29, 1988)

2012-02-07T06:39:00.001-08:00

*1/2 of ****

Critters (April 11, 1986)

2012-02-07T06:34:00.001-08:00

** of ****

The Ides of March (October 7, 2011)

2012-02-02T18:41:00.000-08:00

*** of ****

Limitless (March 18, 2011)

2012-01-30T18:38:00.000-08:00

**1/2 of ****

This drama was pretty predictable and De Niro's role was the antithesis of the title: limited.

Contact (July 11, 1997)

2012-01-30T07:27:00.000-08:00

**1/2 of ****

Short Circuit 2 (July 6, 1988)

2012-01-30T07:22:00.000-08:00

**1/2 of ****

Short Circuit (May 9, 1986)

2012-01-30T07:18:00.000-08:00

*** of ****

Mars Attacks! (December 13, 1996)

2012-01-30T07:06:00.000-08:00

** of ****

Independence Day (July 2, 1996)

2012-01-30T07:01:00.000-08:00

** of ****

Armageddon (July 1, 1998)

2012-01-30T06:59:00.000-08:00

**1/2 of ****

Minority Report (June 21, 2002)

2012-01-30T06:57:00.000-08:00

*** of ****

Vanilla Sky (December 14, 2001)

2012-01-30T06:53:00.000-08:00

*** of ****

War of the Worlds (June 29, 2005)

2012-01-30T06:48:00.000-08:00

**1/2 of ****

The Matrix Revolutions (November 5, 2003)

2012-01-30T06:45:00.000-08:00

*1/2 of ****

The Matrix Reloaded (May 15, 2003)

2012-01-26T07:23:00.000-08:00

*** of ****

The Matrix (March 31, 1999)

2012-01-25T08:23:00.000-08:00

**1/2 of ****

Krull (29 July 1983)

2012-01-25T08:16:00.000-08:00

** of ****

When the Star Trek, Star Wars and Harry Potter franchises have an orgy of debauchery and produce a retarded love child, films like Krull are produced. Kenneth Marshall (Michael Eddington), Liam Neeson (Qui-Gon Jinn), and Robbie Coltrane (Hagrid) team up on a quest set to the tune of more repetitive score by James Horner.

Honey, I Blew Up the Kid (July 17, 1992)

2012-01-23T06:42:00.000-08:00

**1/2 of ****

Honey, I Shrunk the Kids (June 23, 1989)

2012-01-22T19:55:00.000-08:00

**1/2 of ****

Masters of the Universe (August 7, 1987)

2012-01-22T19:46:00.000-08:00

**1/2 of ****

Equilibrium (December 6, 2002)

2012-01-22T19:41:00.000-08:00

**1/2 of ****

Space Cowboys (August 1, 2000)

2012-01-22T19:39:00.000-08:00

**1/2 of ****

Dune (December 14, 1984)

2012-01-22T14:48:00.000-08:00

** of ****

Tron: Legacy (December 17, 2010)

2012-01-22T14:43:00.000-08:00

**1/2 of ****

Tron (July 9, 1982)

2012-01-22T13:30:00.000-08:00

**1/2 of ****

Underworld: Awakening (January 20, 2012)

2012-01-22T13:18:00.000-08:00

**1/2 of ****

Underworld: Evolution (January 20, 2006)

2012-01-22T13:15:00.001-08:00

**1/2 of ****

Underworld (September 19, 2003)

2012-01-22T13:12:00.001-08:00

***1/2 of ****

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (January 23, 2009)

2012-01-22T13:09:00.000-08:00

*** of ****

RoboCop 3 (November 5, 1993)

2012-01-22T13:04:00.000-08:00

* of ****

RoboCop 2 (June 22, 1990)

2012-01-22T13:01:00.001-08:00

**1/2 of ****

RoboCop (July 17, 1987)

2012-01-22T11:45:00.000-08:00

*** of ****

Moon (23 January 2009)

2012-01-22T11:43:00.001-08:00

*** of ****

Capricorn One (December 1977)

2012-01-19T09:11:00.000-08:00

O.J. Simpson makes an untimely demise before he allegedly murdered his wife.

*** of ****

This film seems to be a response from the corruption of government in the 1970s. Additionally, it appears to be an attempt to illustrate how it might be possible to form a conspiracy large enough to conceal a major event such as the Moon landing.

Avatar (December 18, 2009)

2012-01-17T07:22:00.000-08:00

Stephan Lang has a stand-out performance and is one of the few qualities about the film that are worth the hype.

**1/2 of ****

The visuals can be stunning at times throughout the film. But, as I watched it on my projector (my second screening overall of the movie), it seemed cartoon-ish in the vein of Who Framed Roger Rabbit and the Incredible Mr. Limpet. No matter how good CGI gets, we, the sophisticated viewers of films know what can suspend disbelief and what cannot. No, Mr. Cameron, this cannot. And, honestly, I wouldn't be as critical of the movie had it not gone on to become the highest grossing film of all time and nominated for best picture and best director by the Academy Awards. If it gets that much positive attention, it better be pretty damn amazing, but I can think of hundreds of films I'd rather watch.

Apollo 13 (June 30, 1995)

2012-01-17T07:09:00.000-08:00

*** of ****

The Right Stuff (October 21, 1983)

2012-01-17T07:07:00.000-08:00

*** of ****

Alien Resurrection (November 26, 1997)

2012-01-17T07:05:00.001-08:00

What the fuck?! A half-human, half-alien offspring. Oh, the depravity...

** of ****

The story of the movie is an interesting concept, but it falls flat. It is good to get away from the first three films by jumping the timeline 200 years into the future. Ron Perlman is great as always, and just like Alien 3, the evolution for Sigourney Weaver's character Ripley is logical. I find it interesting that the writer of the film Joss Whedon can find fault in the execution of his script.

Alien³ (May 22, 1992)

2012-01-17T06:55:00.000-08:00

Even the cast demands a more worthy sequel to Aliens.

**1/2 of ****

I recently read an article on den of geek which helped me appreciate the merits of this often derided second sequel to Alien. I completely agree that there is a huge lack of rising suspense that was present in the first two films. However, for me, there has never really been any questions on what the aliens look like or do since they have basically been a part of pop-culture my whole life.

I like the dark, tragic tone of the film. It is very unique and ultimately the only real direction the series could go without it becoming a campy space adventure series where the good guy always comes out on top.

Aliens (July 18, 1986)

2012-01-16T08:23:00.000-08:00

As I told my wife, this image still haunts me from first seeing the film on VHS at a friend's house in the early 90s when I was like five years old.

***1/2 of ****

Alien (May 25, 1979)

2012-01-15T09:28:00.000-08:00

***1/2 of ****

Predators (July 9, 2010)

2012-01-15T09:19:00.000-08:00

*** of ****

This is a great addition and revival of the Predator series. The concept is phenomenal as is the ensemble cast. From the beginning to the the end, the thrills never cease to amaze the viewer. A vital new addition to the Predator species and culture is introduced (i.e. the different breeds of Predators who hunt one another and prey on the game preserve). I truly hope they make a sequel, and soon.

Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (December 25, 2007)

2012-01-13T19:20:00.000-08:00

*1/2 of ****

I am not quite sure why it was necessary to make this film.

Alien vs. Predator (August 13, 2004)

2012-01-13T19:17:00.000-08:00

Charles Bishop Weyland (Lance Henriksen) is about to be killed by a Predator.

** of ****

Predator 2 (November 21, 1990)

2012-01-13T19:05:00.000-08:00

Bill Paxton plays Det. Jerry Lambert while María Conchita Alonso portrays Det. Leona Cantrell the ancestors of Private William Hudson and Private Jenette Vasquez from Aliens (1986) respectively.

**1/2 of ****

Predator (June 12, 1987)

2012-01-13T16:06:00.000-08:00

*** of ****

Some of the best moments in the film are portrayed by the supporting cast.

Blade Runner: The Final Cut (June 25, 1982)

2012-01-12T12:31:00.000-08:00

***1/2 of ****

"It's too bad she won't live, but then again, who does?"

Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey (July 19, 1991)

2012-01-12T12:03:00.000-08:00

**1/2 of ****

"God Gave Rock 'N' Roll to You II" at the finale and closing credits is the best part of this movie hands down. Bill and Ted are plodding their way through life, but not becoming famous, excellent musicians as quickly as anticipated. When a scheme devised by a future-would be dictator results in the death of Bill and Ted, a most bogus journey ensues which eventually culminates with the duderific duo embarking on fame and fortune. Some of the jokes are pretty funny, and the movie is definitely worth watching. However, it is not a classic as the original. Much of the supporting cast are replaced or not present: both princesses and Deacon. The locations also look much different for San Dimas, California.

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (February 17, 1989)

2012-01-10T07:48:00.000-08:00

*** of ****

This fun, science-fiction comedy film has been a classic staple in my viewing experience for years. It has a very short running time which was nice since I didn't have much time to fit in a movie on the first day of school for the semester.

Keanu Reeves does his best work in this show because it is almost as if it fits the way he naturally speaks. The late George Carlin also is successful at portraying Rufus.

I think my enjoyment of this movie can be attributed in large part to its 1980s rock and pop music original soundtrack. Tracks like "Play With Me" by Extreme during the mall chase scene, "Boys and Girls Are Doing It" by Vital Signs during the Waterloo water park scene, "Father Time" by Shark Island at the beginning while Rufus prepares to travel back to 1988, "Dangerous" by Shark Island when the step mom bends over revealing her cleavage, and "Two Heads Are Better Than One" by Power Tool (Aka the Rock Band - Nelson) while the montage of collecting historical figures is being displayed are all inseparable from the motion picture sequences.

The interesting thing is that the music in this film corresponded with my naive conception of how my life was supposed to work out. A perfect beautiful life, with a beautiful perfect wife and a life in glorious high school popularity in the form of school politics or sports. "Not So Far Away" by Glen Burtnik is responsible for that general feeling. Although none of the aforementioned ideals is really displayed visually or in the story, it just goes to show how ideas can be conjured or reinforced simply by music.

Terminator Salvation (May 21, 2009)

2012-01-09T09:25:00.000-08:00

**1/2 of ****

This sequel is everything I would want out of a Terminator film (minus Arnold) as a fan for this era in the series' timeline. As a stand alone movie it lacks focus and really a purpose for being. Anton Yelchin is great in imitating Michael Biehn from the original.

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (July 2, 2003)

2012-01-09T09:16:00.000-08:00

**1/2 of ****

Nick Stahl, Claire Danes, and Kristanna Loken are somewhat of a waste throughout the film. While they play their roles with a degree of competence, ultimately none of their characters reappear in the series as played by them. Arnold does his best to hold this installment together with classic lines and more great Terminator action, however, this movie clearly just follows the formula of the previous two films with a few added elements.

Terminator 2: Judgment Day (July 3, 1991)

2012-01-09T09:09:00.000-08:00

***1/2 of ****

A worthy sequel to the original film. Edward Furlong's constant whining gets a little annoying. However, the action set pieces still rival anything in film produced. Also, Schwarzenegger is superb in the role he was born to play as the Termintor (T-800/T-101). Of course, it is Robert Patrick's silent performance that really steals the show.

The Terminator (October 26, 1984)

2012-01-09T08:58:00.000-08:00

Lance Henriksen and Paul Winfield are excellent as the cops trying to piece together the Terminator's attacks.

**** of ****

This movie is still perfect for what it sets out to do, especially considering it is basically the same age as me having been released in 1984. Special effects, action, acting, excellent plot, etc. is all there. The only real criticism is that some of the film's score is clearly dated. However, the main theme makes up for that which is primarily in the opening and closing credits. Watching it on the projector on the big screen for the first time was a very rewarding experience.

Slipstream (February 10, 1989)

2012-01-09T08:51:00.000-08:00

**1/2 of ****

It was great to see Mark Hamill in a role where he wasn't a naive farm boy or a voice role for this lesser known film. He plays a bad ass "lawman" bounty hunter. However, the real stars of the show are Bob Peck (Jurassic Park) and Bill Paxton (Twister). Mr. Peck plays an android on the run and Paxton is a young wandering hustler who eventually befriends the cyborg. The supporting cast includes Robbie Coltrane (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone), Ben Kingsley (Sexy Beast), and F. Murray Abraham (Amadeus).

The plot feels somewhat disjointed and borrows from Blade Runner. It is clear that this is a low budget film. Peck does well as an android, some of the brief action sequences are cool, and Paxton is his usual eccentric self. Overall, it is a worthy entry to the post-apocalyptic/robot feature films and shame it is not more well known.

Back to the Future Part III (May 25, 1990)

2012-01-07T08:36:00.000-08:00

***1/2 of ****

I was pretty drunk while watching this, but since it is a film that is very familiar to me I was able to get through it and understand the plot.

Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones (May 16, 2002)

2012-01-07T06:29:00.000-08:00

*** of ****

This movie really probably does not deserve three stars. Let me clarify, as a stand alone film, it is not really anything good. However, because it is part of the greater Star Wars saga, it has meaning and is not quite as bad as everyone says. I watched the director's commentary again. George Lucas excused his actors for being retarded and unskilled by saying that this whole movie is a throwback to the 1930s style of over the top acting from serials and film noir. I can accept that. Especially since I know that Portman and McGregor are actually pretty talented. The glaring plot hole that my brother-in-law pointed out to me about Padme knowing the group was headed for the hangar still eludes my sense of Star Wars apologist philosophy. Ben Burtt made a few jokes this time around on the audio track with his comments. The special effects guys were boring again and retarded. I really think they ought to have had some shots of actual physical clone troopers as they are all obviously glaring CGI creations. Rick McCallum reared his ugly post Phantom Menace Star Wars cheer-leading head again.

Cowboys & Aliens (July 29, 2011)

2012-01-07T06:20:00.000-08:00

**1/2 of ****

The beginning was cool, the aliens looked like shit (obvious CGI), Harrison Ford was great, Daniel Craig has had better, Jon Favreau continues to establish himself as a bland Hollywood-formula following director, Kurtzman and Orci reveal themselves to be overrated hacks again, and Olivia Wilde is...not worth it. The supporting cast did what they could with the material. The Indian part just got weird. Overall, Cowboys & Aliens did little to surprise me. It was ok, a lukewarm entry to the Sci-Fi genre.

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (May 19, 1999)

2012-01-06T14:20:00.000-08:00

*** of ****

Watched the film with director's commentary - the only thing George Lucas continually reiterates is how amazingly none of this is real (meaning that the visuals are all green screen CGI technology). While the technological terror he created with the prequel trilogy is impressive, most impressive, it is insignificant next to the magic of storytelling in the original trilogy. Other interesting notes Lucas makes are the motifs repeatedly used for the less educated Star Wars fan. His tenancy to want to squeeze all the classic characters into Episode I (especially R2-D2 and C-3PO) is apparent in his comments about why he empathized their inclusion as much as he did. Ultimately, some of these inclusions are a stretch.

Then you get Lucas' dark Sith apprentice Rick McCallum who can't help to put an exaggeratedly positive, and frankly boring spin on the whole process of making Episode I with George. Every chance he gets he kisses GL's ass, which makes a lot of sense. For the second trilogy, Geoge Lucas must have surrounded himself with people who did not challenge him creatively. And, that is his right to do so. We all need to remember, George Lucas solo invented the Star Wars universe.

Ben Burtt did the editing but also the sound on all six films. As a sound guy, he is phenomenal. The sound effects in all six films is top notch and is forever etched into my brain as the classic sounds of Star Wars. His comments in the commentary track are fairly interesting but can get old quickly.

All and all, Episode I is a disappointment compared to the original trilogy. But, that is because it is beholden to tell a back story, and because the acting is not good. Who is to blame for the bad acting? Director George Lucas? Or stars Natalie Portman, Jake Lloyd, and Pernilla August? (Notice I did not include Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor, Ian McDiarmid, Anthony Daniels, or Frank Oz. Their performances were all fair to good). Look back at the original Star Wars, ALL the actors were able to rise above Lucas' alleged lack of directing ability. Also, consider at this point that George Lucas makes the comment that he meant his films to be told primarily visually independent or regardless of the dialogue which he considers to be less important. Other than that, it is a good film and it being Star Wars alone qualifies it to be timeless.

Back to the Future Part II (November 22, 1989)

2012-01-05T14:14:00.000-08:00

*** of ****

What can I say about this particular viewing experience of Back to the Future Part II? Definitely it was the most entertaining viewing of the first Back to the Future sequel so far. The Blu-ray on my projector looked absolutely fantastic (as most Blu-rays on my projector do). This is probably as close to going back to '89 and seeing in the theater as I will ever get.

The film must have saved quite a bit of money by basically having the actors show up in the back drop of the first movie aside from the futuristic scenes. And, it is quite clever how much of the story occurs simultaneously with the action of the original. However, one plot question remains.. why would the old Biff Tannen choose that exact day of the school dance where most of the story takes place from the original BTTF (November 12, 1955) to deliver the Sports Almanac to young Biff? Biff could not even yet place bets or gamble as he was in high school and probably a minor, but that is a minor detail that really doesn't take away from the enjoyment of this movie. I give it two thumbs way up!

Back to the Future (July 3, 1985)

2012-01-05T09:33:00.000-08:00

**** of ****

Spaceballs (June 24, 1987)

2012-01-04T06:24:00.000-08:00

** of ****

Fanboys (February 6, 2009)

2012-01-02T21:26:00.000-08:00

*1/2 of ****

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (August 24, 2001)

2012-01-02T08:51:00.001-08:00

**1/2 of ****

Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi (May 25, 1983)

2012-01-01T11:12:00.000-08:00

***1/2 of ****

Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back (May 21, 1980)

2012-01-01T11:07:00.000-08:00

**** of ****

Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope (May 25, 1977)

2011-12-31T10:58:00.000-08:00

**** of ****

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (May 19, 2005)

2011-12-31T10:57:00.000-08:00

***1/2 of ****

Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones (May 16, 2002)

2011-12-31T10:55:00.000-08:00

*** of ****

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (May 19, 1999)

2011-12-31T10:49:00.000-08:00

*** of ****

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (17 December 2003)

2011-12-28T09:56:00.000-08:00

**** of ****

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (December 18, 2002)

2011-12-28T09:55:00.000-08:00

**** of ****

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (19 December 2001)

2011-12-28T09:52:00.000-08:00

**** of ****

Willow (May 20, 1988)

2011-12-27T17:35:00.000-08:00

***1/2 of ****

Hook (December 11, 1991)

2011-12-27T17:32:00.000-08:00

**1/2 of ****

Peter Pan (25 December 2003)

2011-12-27T14:39:00.000-08:00

**1/2 of ****

Peter Pan (February 5, 1953)

2011-12-27T12:43:00.000-08:00

**1/2 of ****

Black Death (11 June 2010)

2011-12-27T12:37:00.000-08:00

*** of ****

Season of the Witch (January 7, 2011)

2011-12-27T10:56:00.000-08:00

** of ****